Categories
Parent

Dear Parent

Danielle Gordon

MA, LPC, NCC, SCL, PMH-C

Dear Parent,

You are good enough:

  • when you let your child watch tv instead of do homework
  • when bathing is a weekly activity
  • when your child is crying and you walk away for a few minutes

You are good enough.

You are good enough:

  • when milk and goldfish are the menu for lunch
  • when bedtime is at 6:30pm because you are done parenting for the day
  • when you hire a babysitter just so you can take a nap

You are good enough.

You are good enough:

  • when you let your child wear pajamas to school
  • when several choice words leave your mouth and the kids repeat them
  • when your child relentlessly argues about getting dressed so you take them to school in their diaper and coat and bring clothes for the teachers to deal with

You are good enough.

My name is Danielle Gordon and I am (just barely) a good enough parent. My daughter, Sidney, is 3 ½ and pretty much runs our household because it’s easier to give in than argue with her. And my son, Charlie, who just turned 2 already knows this. Do I like not being the boss in my own home? No. Do I think this is healthy? Not so much. Is this something I want to deal with right now? Absolutely not. Parenting is difficult enough in a “normal” world. Add on a pandemic, an adult sister recovering from surgery in my home, revolving teachers in my daughter’s classroom at school, and other stressors of life, and the answer to that question is a solid, strong, resounding N.O. I will deal with this another day (insert shoulder shrug mom emoji).

I work with a lot of clients who put an exorbitant amount of pressure on themselves to be the perfect parent: to give their children non-processed food, to make sure they are strictly following the remote teaching guidelines given by their children’s teachers, who bathe their children every night and follow that with a book, song, and bedtime routine. All of that is wonderful, if you can do it and enjoy doing it. For most people though, that isn’t reality. I want everyone to know that it’s ok to do your best and fall short from whatever ideal caretaker you put on a pedestal…you are good enough. Not only do our kids need to see us fail at times, but they also need to see us, period. They don’t care if what we do is perfect – they want to spend time with us, feel heard, and be seen. This short video really puts things into perspective.
So, my dear mama, daddy, papa, Gigi, whatever it is that you are called – be kind to yourself and show yourself some grace. You may not be perfect, but you are good enough…and this is exactly what your child(ren) needs.

Sending hugs,
Danielle Gordon, MA, LPC, NCC, SCL, PMH-C
www.yourvillagecounseling.com4